Mixed feelings for Marriage and My thoughts on Hookup Scenes !

Marriage & Hookups  

So, I opened up my mailbox the other day and YRF has sent Deepveer's Lake Como Wedding Pictures exactly when there was no hope for it. Twitter was already full of funny memes on #Deepveer wedding saga and I loved most of them and had even done shoutouts for some. By then the Vlog I was making was clubbed with my thoughts on how Bollywood Celebs now want to be on Netflix, ever since Saif Ali Khan set the Trend. My Vlog was almost complete and then SURPRISE, the Pictures from Lake Como had reached me. So, obviously I had to RE-DO my Vlog... I couldn't even sleep on time because I do get excited on Trivial things and I want my Youtube to grow. Bollywood is one of the Topics I like in general to talk about, but not in a Bitchy way, rather Sarcasm is my style (maybe once in a while I get bitchy too when I watch hypocrisy on Koffee with Karan). He may find Nepotism troublesome, but honestly 70% people who appear on his show are all Star Kids. I do enjoy the show too especially because Karan Johar is annoying in a likeable & cute way (Yes, I used the word Cute) and it's hard to explain this type of feeling, because he looks like an innocent gossiper but at the same time a very clever businessman. My favourite episode has to be the one with Kangana Ranaut because of the INTENSITY...LOL... 

Since, I am an Artist of a more observant nature, that's why my competitive streak doesn't give a damn. Also because I have learnt a lot from Dead People on how temporary things can be, so I better enjoy the moment & my beautiful adventurous life out of which I am making a business, because who could have gone through all the crazy yet fun experiences like I did, not to forget the lessons. And, I am not even Dead Yet, I survived, just like you did! I do feel that I am extremely Lucky. When I was thrown off from the Cliff by those who I had trusted blindly, I learnt to Fly. Life is an amazing Teacher. So what, if you met some #Douchebags on the way ? They Teach you something called #SelfRespect! ;) And, I honestly do Pray for all the Douchebags too because, if they knew any better, they would have never ever wanted to hurt anyone. But Forgiveness doesn't mean you should Forget the lesson. My life feels great with Late night Hot chocolate drinks and Bourbon Biscuits when I am up till late. But there are nights when I sleep as early as 9:30 PM to wake up at 4 AM in morning feeling fresh and excited. I have realised that there is a different energy in the morning hours and your skin glows with natural morning light. But when I am recording something or practising a song or producing a track, writing a Blog or my Novel, I am up till morning ... What a contradiction! I want to change this too now because its beautiful to write in the early hours of the morning when there is utter silence everywhere else. But its about following your heart and being able to relax your mind at any given time... I cannot force myself to be a boring person just because others believe in being pessimistic about life in general. And I know by experience that people who cannot relax themselves are bound to suffer.

By now, either you could be thinking how is this all connected to Marriage and Hookups? Or you are deep into the content and want to see how it will merge into the given Title. Well, we all come out of Sex, and no matter how much people make it a Taboo, the fact is that this is the only way you arrive on this Planet, unless you are a Test Tube Baby. So, this has to be established that it's a Natural Phenomenon. The more you will Judge it, the more you will meet people in life, who will judge you for your Sexuality and just the way they look at you or talk to you, they will make you feel that the only reason you exist on the Planet is for Sex. Your emotions, success and presence won't really matter to them. Whereas Sex is one of the things about you in the scheme of things, but ITS not the only thing. Anybody who makes you feel like an object for their sexual pleasure is doing the same to themselves. Sex is not uplifting without the element of Love or Emotions and RESPECT.

So, Coming back to the Vlog, just the way you got lost into this write-up, I had also totally forgotten about Deepveer Reception which  was supposed to happen on the same evening (21st Nov). How was I supposed to remember it anyway? After all, it wasn't my wedding & media elsewhere was in a frenzy, while all I wanted to do was sit on my cozy ass and read an important book. And by that time, Deepveer wedding had lost the curiosity. This is what my Mom also said. Maybe the younger lot was Curious but not the general Janta. And she said that, "They didn't share anything when they should have, so now people don't care so much". I got maximum views on TikTok (62K and 20K on their Insta Hashtag) while personally I love my Youtube Vlog way more, so it was overall Mixed Feelings for me. And, they were sharing pictures, bit by bit, part by part, it wasn't so much fun. 

This made me think about Marriage once again and I realise that I am a carefree person. I don't like Drama. I like supportive people especially in the Relationship. For example, I have invested last 4 years in simply understanding and learning about life. Professionally speaking, the kind of experience and contacts I have (by God's Grace) its extremely easy for me to  either get into a high earning package with a fancy designation in a reputed MNC or do meaningless TV shows which come with a big fat cheque. And, Incase you don't know, Television Writers get a lot more money than even Actors for writing HIT shows. Films are different because of the Hype. But 'HIT' does not always mean mentally stimulating, especially Indian TV Serials. You have to leave your logic and authenticity behind. I am lucky to realise that I have an emotionally, financially and mentally stable background. Yet everyone wants to be Independent in my house. So, I never really left working, but my choices and options are always on my terms in a humble way. I'd rather write my own Novel or Produce my own Music for 2 years than to work on a horrible and brainless Television show...So, Your Work & Relationships are connected. Don't confuse them to not be connected. Intimacy can also fuck you up for days and months, if its coming from the wrong person and Love on the contrary has the power to heal. If you truly love yourself, you wouldn't want to be with anyone who doesn't treat you amazingly well and similarly if you don't respect someone for who they are, you won't also bother treating them well. The biggest investment is on your ownself. You might fail at some places, but eventually it always Pays. Most important question you can ask yourself is WHO AM I ?

What am I doing here? Where did I possibly come from (other than the Sperm and Egg combo)?

I clearly want a Partner who can bring in fresh energy, excitement & Joy of solving problems. I feel so nice in my own room, on my own bed, at my own workspace, on my own table, I can do whatever I want, look like Trash or a Kohinoor diamond and going out to meet people is a hassle unless its Integral to be present. Afterall, my time is so Precious. Every second is important. Performing, Recording, Vlogging & Travelling for months, are all spontaneous decisions. I might sound like a total contradiction, but I don't plan most of this stuff and I don't make much efforts to meet people, they just appear on their own at random events. If my friends read this, they can probably understand why I don't chill so much with anyone as such even though I am a good Host and equally good Guest. I also get along with people, who don't get along with too many people out of choice. Most of my friends are Loners & imagine when a bunch of Loners are siting in a Group. It's Hard to Explain... ! Nowadays, I feel its better to be an Asshole Friend who minds his/her own business, rather than being a Fake- Ass friend ! In my Opinion, Personally too, It's better if you have a real ass, than a Fake Ass anyday ! And actually I am quite THE Social butterfly due to my super-high Curiosity Level despite being a typical Nerd, I may not look like One, but looks can be deceptive... And, what do Nerds do when they are at their best ??? They make friends "Online" because they don't want to seen by people in person. Evolved Nerds want to stay social & friendly in a human way, but without being so social and friendly (LOL) I mean talking to someone, texting them, sharing about life should be absolutely effortless.

If you don't believe me, look at Mark Zuckerberg. He is the Nerd of this Era, who is so nerdy that he made an online platform for people to connect. He doesn't look social at all, but smiles when needed & managed to create a new way of lifestyle & his very own Online Continent full of nerds... ! And, I have a feeling that Me & Mark Zuckerberg could be good friends if we ever connect & maybe even better than him would be his wife. (LOL)

Nevertheless, Marriage is difficult to digest even though am not a random hookup person either. I honestly don't get how people can hookup (Sex) randomly with a total stranger, you really have to be either quite drunk or super horny and in both the cases it won't be such a good experience because when you are too drunk, you're not going to remember most of the things and wake up with a bad mood and anyone who is too horny is a big turn off because desperation for me is a deal-breaker. I am not Judging anyone who is into Random Hook-up scene but you can imagine being with someone who loves/ likes you for who you are and not forget about you in a few hours. You deserve much more than that in life. I prefer a relationship even if its boring to death at times, than to get intimate with people I have no clue about... And, I understand that online flirting (sometimes) with people you don't meet ever is not counted as Dating. These days I get excited by things that only concern my happy space. I don't like to get into a pressure situation like arguing over eating a pizza or a burger or debating like you're both PMSing. I have realised that some people just want to argue (Men & Women) they just want to put their weight around somewhere... I mean Why is it not okay to disagree and accept that people are different ???

My Point is, I do thrive on Emotions & Attraction is Important but for now it's hard for me to imagine sharing a room with another person. And, a wedding has to be very simple. For example, just me and the guy should go to the court, in a lovely hot dress, sign the damn paper, come back home, order some good food, take blessings from family members, Netflix and Chill & that's it. And, YES FOR SURE VLOG THE WHOLE THING. Because it's crazy to get married anyway and yet we all do it sooner or later. I am sure, someday I will get married to someone, but I can't be bothered about it right now. And, I am also sure I would Cry or maybe get a bit drunk too in the evening, because its a big thing to give up on all your freedom and joy. And #Deepveer look so happy going into the Jail called Marriage together, that they almost gave me Hope. And, I also know why they are happy, simply because of the way Ranveer Singh dresses up. If someone can dress up the way he does, that Guy can make any situation look FUN, because the dude won't have a problem with anything. Go Watch my Vlog and if not for them, then for the Love of #Saifalikhan & good old #Doordarshan.

Marriage of a bollywood couple

(NOTE TO DEEPVEER : Congratulations to both of you. Whether you read it or not, but I really wish well for you & Ranveer Singh you are a nice guy and I hope you don't turn out to be psycho in the Future and Deepika even if he does, You are an Indian Chick, If Parvati can dance on Shiva's Chest, anyone can ! All the very Best !)

Love, 

The Sunamoon